I didn’t blog yesterday because I was off having happy hour then therapy then listening to music and reading Elizabeth Smart’s memoir on my phone (I miss my kindle) and then bed at 10:15 #likeanadult.
But yesterday was okay. I think good? I don’t know. Sometimes food tracking is stressful because I doubt myself. I wonder when that will go away? I think I may email my nutritionist the last few food records so I can double check…I can’t wait for a day when I just eat intuitively.
I went to spin yesterday in the morning and it kicked. My. Ass. I don’t know if it’s because I took a 5 day break? Or just because I’m getting into it? Or because it’s early and I haven’t figured out the appropriate thing to eat beforehand (another thing I should check with my nutritionist)? But it’s fun.
I love the women I work with, but sometimes when they talk about food and shit it is triggering. Yesterday around lunch time they started talking about cleanses and processed foods and good and bad foods and good and bad exercise and how bodies should be sore after you exercise, so sore it’s hard to move, and all this shit. One woman was asking if it was normal to obsess over food in the office (one of our co-workers brought in chocolate covered pretzels and peanut and chocolate trail mix). And so she asked, “Like, do you guys do that? Is this normal? To like look at the pretzels and constantly think like, ‘Go get a pretzel. That’s fine. Do it. It’s not a big deal. NO DON’T GET A PRETZEL! YOU ARE FAT’ is that normal?” and in my head I’m all, no that’s disordered and not normal and I get it and you don’t have to suffer like this, but I didn’t say anything and our other co-worker was like ‘Yeah, that’s normal. Everyone’s like that about something….sugar, processed food, shoes….” Which I absolutely disagree with but I think speaks to our disordered culture because everyone was like YUP to that (except for the older woman in front of me who is a mother and just is quiet, maybe because she’s working or because, like me, she is thinking “YOU GUYS LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR THIS KIND OF OBSESSION OMG”. Or is just tuning out. Who knows.
Anyway today started well, tomorrow I have spin again, and things will carry on. I DID go to happy hour yesterday.